My ex Face Timed me yesterday. I haven’t spoken to him since his move to the Middle East, I was at work so I was unprepared for it but it was good as I was in professional mode and able to deal with him.
We talked, he showed me round his 4 bedroom detached (with servant) house. He told me he was doing well and everything was better than in Britain, his new son was in a private school everything was rosy and that he had made the right decision to move out there.
He told me that he wouldn’t be coming back to the UK for a least a year. We talked about the children. We talked about the things that they are up to, how they were doing, the things we used to talk about when he was in the country and living about a mile away, things that seem strange to talk about to a person who now lives 3000 miles away.
As we talked I felt a myriad of emotions, some sad, some jealous ( I would kill for a servant). I felt sorry for the children they miss their Dad and probably won’t be able to visit because of the prohibitive cost and logistics of school and university timetables.
I felt a kind of sad rage because I reckon my ex got off lightly, while he is apparently living the life of Riley I am here in rainy London really struggling on my own with no servant, no money, and what feels like no life.
Now I know that life isn’t that black or white nobody is completely happy or sad. We all present our best selves to the world but let me sob in my own little pity party just for one post.
I have been a single parent for 8 years and I can honestly say I have never felt so alone as a parent. I hadn’t realised the fact that my ex was in the same town made such a difference to our family, even when he wasn’t doing anything or contributing anything. The fact that he was there made it manageable.
The conversation continued. He made the usual promises and asked for a couple of favours. I didn’t complain or ask for anything because there was no point. We said our goodbyes
As usual the contact with my ex the experience was a bittersweet one, we aren’t friends and perhaps were no longer enemies, we are nothing to each other and that is a weird feeling. I was left with a feeling of acceptance and some sense of peace.
What was good was good in our marriage and I can now remember the good times as they were without them being clouded by the bad.
I think all single parents have expectations of their ex partners which are impossible for anyone to live up to. I think the time may not healing all wounds but it does makes them smart a little less. My ex has moved on its time for me to do so as well.
Until the next time